WOW…I had completely forgotten all about this blog and was nicely reminded of it when I got a notice that someone was following my blog. Well, I guess I should make an update in case anyone else comes across my story.
It has been well over a year since I last posted and a lot has occurred. After reading all of my old posts, it’s interesting how what you are feeling at that time in life can easily change at any given moment. In my last post, my Ex and I were doing good and I thought I had worked through all of my resentments and he had hopefully worked through his own issues.
Well, I was wrong.
After my post in October, he and I had some really good moments, but then some really bad moments as well. A lot of my trust had been destroyed, so I was doing things that I had never done before which led to conflicts between us and an eventual deterioration of our relationship. My Ex and I had broken up (for real that time) on February 14, 2011.
Isn’t that romantic?? lol
Anyways, we did something we had never done before since the moment we had become a couple many years back…
We went our separate ways and lived our lives without each other.
We had No Contact except for business matters. There were no phone calls between us, only text msgs were exchanged and only when it was absolutely necessary. No pleasantries such as “Hi, how are you?” Nothing.
This went on for 3 months until the anniversary of his mother’s passing away came upon us. I decided to swallow my pride and send him a text message sending my well thoughts for him on that day.
Because of that, we had a brief exchange on Facebook where I found him to be civil, but very cold. Something I was not used to experiencing with him and I was very put off by it. And so, based on the way he was speaking to me, I told him that I wished him well, but that I would never reach out to him again.
I was not mean or angry. I had just finally accepted that he and I were over and I would not hold on to anymore hope for us from that day forward.
But you know, the universe has a funny sense of humor. The very moment that I decided to let go completely is the very moment things changed.
Exactly a week later from my decision, I received a text from him wishing that my family was safe due to the Mississippi river flooding that was occurring at the time. I responded in kind, but didn’t think much of it as he is normally a decent guy who shows concern for things. Well, later that night I finally got one of those thoughtful “I miss you” type texts.
I must admit that it felt good to know that after all that time of not talking or seeing each other, he still cared about me. So, we sent each other texts here and there for about a month and then his birthday arrived. I know he knew that I would call or text for his birthday. He was just waiting it out.
Well, after much deliberation on my part, I opted to call instead of text for his birthday. He answered my call right away and he sounded so excited to hear from me. Well, we talked for a few and I asked what he was going to do for his birthday and he told me he had no one to celebrate his birthday with…Well, just out of curiosity to see what he would say, I asked if he wanted me to take him out to dinner for his birthday. He said he wanted to, but if we could postpone it because he was covered in poison ivy and he didn’t want me to see him that way. So, I said “Sure”. Although, I honestly had no intentions on doing a thing for his birthday and I never did.
Well, that phone call set everything into motion very quickly. By the end of that very night he was posting stuff on my Facebook page which resulted in a weekend of Facebook commenting back and forth. Two days later he was emailing me pics of beauty products that we had talked about at least 6 months prior. Any excuse to make contact was occurring. I let him initiate because my phone call to him was all I was going to give him due to the nature of our breakup.
Again, a week later from his birthday I got the text I knew would eventually come. He needed a place to stay overnight because he supposedly was going to be working late and wanted to know if he could stay by me. I, of course, knew it was just an excuse to see me. He asked if we were friends. I made it clear that we were not friends and we will never be friends and to keep that thought moving along. Well, he stayed the night anyway and the excuse he gave of him having to work late? No, nothing of the sort. He was done with work at 6pm which is nowhere near late for him. He just needed a reason.
For 4 months I had not seen him and there he was right in front of me and I was nervous as hell!! I couldn’t even look at him while I was driving. But eventually, we got into that comfort level of ‘Yes, I know this person oh so well’.
I survived that night with him and many more. A week later he stopped by to change my lightbulb before going to a 4th of July party. Well, he ended up never going to that party. He came to change the lightbulb and didn’t leave. He stayed for two nights before having to go back home because of work.
And that’s how it was for 2 months. He would find any excuse to come over and he would just stay. However, whenever he stayed overnight, he would make sure to sleep on my couch.
It wasn’t until the end of August/beginning of September that we finally made it ‘official’ between us.
As of today, we are still together and our relationship is very different now. I found out in December that he was seeing someone while we were apart and I was furious due to who the person was and other reasons and I almost left him for that reason alone. We decided to continue our relationship because since June our relationship together has been better than ever. It’s interesting because the years before our reconciliation is a bit of a blur to me because our current relationship is so different that it is like I am dating a whole new person.
We spend a hell of a lot more time together. He actually owns his own home, but he stays with me for most of the week. I almost feel like he has moved in and we have been trying to keep things fresh by going on dates and doing activities we haven’t done before and just being with each other in a more intimate way. There is a higher display of appreciation for each other. I have experienced a lot more effort on his part and I don’t feel like I am carrying most of the relationship anymore. Plus, his communication with me has improved greatly. When we talk about the future, we talk as if we will be together for a long while. Meaning we are in each other’s plans.
And he bought me a ring. NOT an engagement ring…lol But, a beautiful amethyst ring (it’s my birthstone) that I have always wanted. My guy does not buy gifts and he certainly doesn’t buy jewelry, so I knew it was a big deal and a big step for him to do that. When we were at the jeweler together, he told the salesman that I wasn’t like any other woman. That I was very special. And I must say, he is doing a better job of making me feel very special.
I write this with no knowledge on how this will continue. Who knows what the future will bring. Just as circumstances changed the last time I wrote here, they could easily change again because as humans our feelings can be quite complicated and unpredictable at times.
I just continue to pray for him and I and our relationship and enjoy it for what it is today. I have been through a lot emotionally, but God has given me strength and I thank him wholly for that.
I will try to update my blog more regularly as life is a mystery and you never know what’s in store for you.